Editor’s Note: This is an April Fools joke!

SANTA CLARA, CA – April 1, 2014 — / — Syncplicity’s Enterprise file sharing and collaboration solution has taken a huge leap forward with the addition of new capabilities that we are making available to qualified Enterprise Edition customers today. The new Enterprise Mach™ program is ideal for customers who want to sample and evaluate the cutting-edge Enterprise file sharing technologies of the future.

Enterprise file sharing and collaboration enables the secure and easy viewing, sharing, and editing of Enterprise content and transforms organizations through secure information sharing, collaboration, and anytime, anywhere, any device access to files and data. Because they are so advanced, the innovations we are making available today offer a phase transformation for the very most forward-looking of Enterprise leaders—frontiersmen who are ready to shift their content management practices into warp drive.

Where No Secure File Sharing Solution Has Gone Before
With today’s release of the Enterprise Mach™ program, Syncplicity boldly advances the art and science of Enterprise content management by equipping its file syncing and collaboration solution with the power of Dilithium File Management™.

“Any Enterprise solution must bridge the demands of both users and IT departments. To do otherwise causes disruption and, indeed, threatens the very fabric of our information universe,” says Montgomery Scott, Syncplicity’s chief engineer. “We see this happening with consumer-based file sharing services whose lack of security seriously threatens the very existence of the information space-time continuum,” a practice that is, quite simply, illogical.

Dilithium File Management™ offers the following new features:
File Transportation—built on Phase Transition Technology™ that converts Microsoft Office and PDF files to pure energy and then back again, this is the next generation of file synchronization. Rather than uploading and downloading files from the cloud, users can initiate a file phase shift that makes documents instantly appear in the appropriate folders. This makes file sync instantaneous, eliminates the need for an Internet connection, and reduces bandwidth costs.

Adaptive Security Shields—an adaptive security barrier that protects the Enterprise and allows security officers to direct varying levels of power to different locations, for on-the-fly security customization that deflects any type of attack. Advanced monitoring tools automatically alert personnel when Enterprise content is under fire and quantifies damage to shields.

File Cloaking Device—for added protection in the file sharing and collaboration space, IT now has the ability to render files invisible and undetectable to everyone outside of the Enterprise.

Device agnosticism—both users and IT officers can harness and control the power of Dilithium File Management™ via laptop, tablet, smart phone, phaser, communicator, or tricorder. “It is particularly effective with wearables,” says Lieutenant Commander Jordi Laforge. Some file-sharing functions can be performed in three dimensions via the Enterprise holodeck.

Equipping Your Enterprise with Dilithium File Management™
Dilithium File Management™ will be made available to all Enterprise Mach™ customers in the first quarter of 2366. In the meantime, if you are interested in participating in beta testing, please initiate an online mind-meld with a Syncplicity customer service representative. Agents are standing by.

Dilithium File Management™, engage.

Press Contact:
Joyce Watts

2811 Mission College Blvd.
Santa Clara, CA
USA, 95054

SOURCE: Syncplicity Inc., an EMC Company


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